GRANDPARENTS RIGHTS HAVE THEIR PURPOSE

This past weekend a very preventable and almost predictable tragedy struck down two toddlers in a house fire here in Charlotte, North Carolina. 4 children were left alone in a house with a kerosene heater in the bedroom, the heater malfunctioned and the house was destroyed.. Actually an entire family was destroyed. In the middle of the night and the mother was nowhere to be found. The neighbor heard screams of "Mommy, Mommy". The neighbor was able to save the 7 year old daughter and the 4 year old boy but by then the flames were so intense that the neighbor couldn't go back in for the 1 and 2 year old brothers who died in their beds.. As if that isn't enough injustice to these little ones, their mother had been charged just 4 months earlier with leaving her children home alone. Two years before that, even before her deceased sons were born she was convicted of possession of cocaine in addition to other brushes with the law. It seems as though the system should have seen this coming.

How different this outcome would have been if some caring grandparents would have stepped up and asserted their rights to protect and take custody of these neglected children. This is the kind of tragedy that grandparents rights legislation is aimed at preventing. It allows an observant grandparent(s) to have standing in the court "In the best interest of the child".

Sometimes grandparents can cause problems with a false sense of grandparents influence over their grand children. I have a friend who has been a single mom to 4 children for the past 5 years because of the actions of her now deported husband There has been no support from him, however, she allows the kids to keep in touch with him in San Salvador. I can tell by her proud stories of her kids, complete with pictures, and what her friends say about her that she is a dedicated, proud and wonderful mother. She works two jobs and the rest of her life is her children. Over the past couple of months her now 15 year old daughter started faltering in her studies and come to find out she had a boyfriend who, according to her older brother, was a gang member who caused trouble. Mom wisely stepped in to protect her daughter and wouldn't allow her daughter to see this boy. Come to find out on weekends when her daughter was visiting her grandmother on her dads side of the family she was allowed to see this guy. The daughter became more difficult at home and stated she wanted to go live with the grandma. It went so far that social services was called on this unsuspecting mother and the grandma was part of the problem. You get the picture. This is WRONG, it is not a grandparents right to alienate a child from her mother under any circumstances much less to be popular with her son and granddaughter. This is the kind of behavior that gives grandparents rights legislation a bad name. I just want to scream "IT IS ALL ABOUT THE CHILD'S WELL BEING".

I have read many case studies and it is heart wrenching when you see these kinds of things happen. It is my hope that every child knows, at the very least, one grandparent who cares deeply for them and especially for those children in peril. Our grand angels deserve all the love and support to help them reach their potential. I would suggest you know your rights as a grandparent even if things look good on the home fronts. Since the divorce rate is around 50%, if it is not you or me, someone we know will have to face a changing family situation. There are things that the grandparents can do to provide some semblance of family stability during turbulent times. It is a gift and a responsibility as grandparents to do everything in our power to be there for our grandchildren and the magic is that it is our greatest and best purpose at this juncture of our lives.

Please be well and happy. NEIL